When this crazy new world started to break – I went into action.

Firstly, I reluctantly (and with more than a touch of disbelief) cancelled flights and shut down projects in Nepal – and secondly – after a brief hesitation (naively thinking – or maybe hoping this might all blow over) I went into overdrive to get my son home.  While he lives permanently in Canada – I suddenly wanted him back in Australia.

If we were going to have to shut down, I wanted him here so we could all shut down together – as a family – for as long as it took.  As countries, borders, airlines and options closed up around me – I finally managed to get him on the last flight out of Vancouver and snuck him back into Sydney a few hours before the compulsory international hotel quarantine kicked in.  So close!!

But never get in the way of a Mumma bear trying to bring her cub home!!  He was coming back to Australia even if I had to swim there and row him back myself!!

And yes – we quarantined him at home and practiced “social distancing” with no hugs or kisses for 14 days (can you believe that??)…but at least he was back in the fold and he was safe.

As we regrouped around the dining table surveying our new reality, I reminded my Team that we’d been given two important opportunities…

The first was that as a family, the chance of having time together like this again would be pretty rare…

And that despite all the hardships the world was going through, we needed to really appreciate the gift we’d been given to be together.  (Fortunately, we all love and like each other big time…although yes, there are moments!!)

And the second – was that this was an amazing opportunity to grow!  For once in our lives we’d actually been given all the time and space we craved to become the best possible versions of ourselves.

“We’re caterpillars” I told my Team.  “And we’re going to burst out of our cocoons when all this is over like breathtaking butterflies – brighter, smarter, better and more in touch than we ever thought possible”.

Yep.  That’s what I said!  (I also reminded them that I wasn’t going to cook dinner every night – but that’s another story!!)

Within days I had everybody route marching…

New languages were being learnt, Masterclassses were being attended, guitars were being picked up, cupboards were being cleaned, movies and TV scripts were being written…the pace was frenetic!  And the house had never been so spotless!!

Thank God for noise cancelling headphones, as we all wandered around the house completely engrossed in some new “self-development” opportunity. (Although I’ve discovered something interesting – the person wearing the headphones never hears you calling them – but magically they can hear the minute you put the kettle on or open the fridge to make a sandwich!!)

Damn it – we were not going to squander this opportunity to achieve all those “time poor” goal excuses!!  We were in overdrive!!

And as “Life as We Knew It” began to change, I wanted to do something big – to contribute and to feel useful.  After all, I had a bunch of “skills” that surely could be used in helping to make a difference!  Well – at least they were skills in my own mind!!

I felt helpless sitting idly by and watching.  There was so much pain in the world and I wanted to help.  I needed to help.  I needed to contribute and to be in action.  I couldn’t just sit around and do nothing!

And then it hit me.  In all this hyperactivity – I was escaping into “Doing”…

I’d gone back to my safe place.  When the ground beneath me starts to move, I step back into doing…into action…into goals, timeframes, deadlines and achievements.

Perpetual motion is my protection mechanism. It’s where I get my validation.  Seeing those big “Done” ticks on my To Do list is how I feel valued.  It’s how I try and control the uncontrollable.  (As if I’ve ever been able to do that!!  And yet I still try!!)

Ahhh – the relief of “purpose” – the satisfaction of “achievement” – the escape of “busyness”…the distraction of “Doing”!

It’s a dangerous pattern that continues to challenge me – only this time, to make it worse, I was dragging (OK – maybe pushing) my whole Team with me as we all went into hyperdrive!

Bugger!!

There are two things I know for sure – one is that I’ve mastered Doing – and two – it’s a pattern that doesn’t serve me anymore.

But the balance to Doing is Being – and it’s Being I struggle with.  For me that’s the biggest lesson of them all.  Doing is safe and secure – but Being??  That’s a scary place.

And yet…

I know that in Being, I can truly hear what’s calling me.  I stop being distracted by the noise of action and reaction…

In Being, I create a gap for messages and inspiration to come through.  I create space to evolve and balance to be found.  I not only take time to ask the questions that need to be asked – but to discover the answers in the crevices of my soul.

In Being, I learn.  When I’m Doing, it’s hard to benefit from the experience.  As I move rapidly from one goal to the next, I don’t have time to reflect or to grow.  Sure, I accomplish a heap of stuff – but I rarely learn from the lessons.

So…if I know all this – how come I still struggle to “just be”???

I struggle, because where’s the validation in just being?  Where’s the adrenalin hit of achievement?  Where’s the buzz of ferocious activity??

There is none.  And that’s the point.  For me anyway.  That’s the challenge…because the “success” is internal – not external.

It’s about learning to find joy and peace just in the moment.  Being OK to let go of external validation and distractions in order to discover who I really am underneath it all.  Letting stillness show me where to look and what needs attention in my life.

Experiences in life don’t happen to us – they happen for us…

For me, part of this crazy new world is happening for me to remind me to be still.  To be present.  To breathe and allow things to bloom rather than to force them – which is my usual MO.

So maybe…just maybe…”success” for me is about knowing it’s OK to just sit in the sun with my hands wrapped around a hot cup of coffee…to breathe in the beautifully unpolluted air…to feel the sun’s rays on my face and let them dance on my shoulders…and to not need to be anywhere or do anything because just being present is enough…

Maybe it’s OK to sit silently and in awe as I watch my sons banter and laugh together – secure in their own bond of brotherhood as they speak a language that only they understand…

Maybe it’s OK to forget about making dinner (always happy to do that!!) and listen intently to the story my Naughter (she’s my beautiful Niece/Daughter who lives with us) is telling me and really stay present for her…to let her words truly resonate and to step into her world…

Maybe it’s OK to stop and marvel at the intense beauty of the stunning frangipanis my husband has found on the footpath and brought home for me (Yep – he washed his hands first!) rather than just shoving them in water and moving on to the vacuuming…

And maybe it’s OK that the greatest joy in my life these days is having dinner with my Team.

Some days the energy is charged and completely wired – some days it’s chilled.  But instead of us all melting away as we’ve often done in the past after eating, these days we clean up and then head to the lounge together.  The debate either continues or we sit quietly – holding onto our own thoughts usually over a glass of wine – but finding comfort in our togetherness.

In the bond, and the need to not have to be anywhere or do anything other than be with each other, the day reaches a beautiful conclusion…and we find peace and comfort in the new ritual…in just Being together.

Needing to Do and needing to Be must have equal billing…

Action and ownership in this life are still required.  Being doesn’t mean you get to curl up on the lounge in a foetal position gazing in wonderment at the paisley pattern underneath you for the rest of your life!

We still need to get stuff done – and there’s nothing wrong with goals, or achievement or being driven.  It just becomes an issue when that’s our sole purpose…and we become human doings not human beings!  When we don’t appreciate the joy and contentment that comes with being in the moment.

So yep – it’s true – we currently have an amazing opportunity to use this time to create, to learn and to grow like never before.

But what if this new world has an even bigger gift to give us…the gift of Being…and the opportunity to truly connect with what’s important in our lives?

Yes, we’re going to come out of this as beautiful butterflies – but maybe our cocoons might just be the perfect place to stay – to heal, to rewire, to rejuvenate – and to just be?

I’ll leave you with that thought as I sit in the sun – my bare feet playing in the grass – watching the steam rising up from my coffee…safe in the knowledge that right now just being is exactly where I’m meant to be.