Passion is causing us pain.  It’s hard to believe – but it’s true. The one thing that’s supposed to bring us joy in our lives is beginning to bite us.  It’s starting to cause confusion and frustration, and just the tiniest bit of self-judgement.

And why??

Because everywhere we go now, we’re being told we need to chase, find and live our passion.  We’re told to “follow our heart” until we find the fire that will give our life purpose and meaning…we’re told we need to sacrifice and risk everything to discover that one thing we were born to do…and to not rest until we find our passion, because without it our lives can’t possibly be authentic, or of value!

OK – maybe that self-judgement isn’t so tiny…because if you can’t find your passion – or you don’t even know where to start looking for it…you’re sure as hell gonna feel like an underachiever.

Because the message is really clear today…

Without purpose and passion – our lives have no meaning!

Talk about pressure!

And OK…some people know exactly what they’re here to do on this earth.  They’re born with a deep passion that burns in their veins and they have no choice but to surrender to their purpose.  There is never any question in their mind as they spring out of bed every morning to follow their passion – living a life of conviction and focus. I wish them well!

But what about the rest of us? 

What about those of us who are still searching – trying to find that one guiding flame we can organise our lives around…what about those of us who are still trying to figure out who we’re meant to be when we grow up?

And who says we need to have it all figured out by the time we’re 30/40/50 – pick an age!  In a culture that now “insists” on purpose, we put ourselves under incredible pressure because we’re being conditioned to believe we should have it all figured out by now…whenever “now” is.  Seriously?  Some days I can barely figure out my middle name let alone my life!!

To add insult to injury, the Huffington Post recently quoted:

“The two greatest days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.”

Really?  But what about all the days in between??  And how the hell do you find the “why”?

Most people haven’t got a clue what they’re passionate about.  If I was to ask you right here and now – what it would mean for you to “follow your passion” – chances are you wouldn’t be able to give me an answer.  And that’s OK.  You would not be alone.

I know.  I’ve certainly been there.

After I stepped away from my company, I went on a journey to “find my purpose”.  It seemed like a good idea at the time given I was feeling lost and empty, and was really committed to discovering meaning in my life.

I figured that three months travelling solo on my bike would give me plenty of time for my passion to appear…that being alone in my helmet would definitely give me the space I needed to work out the direction for my life.  I truly believed that by the time I switched my bike off for the last time, I would have the answers…that my life would just unfold perfectly in front of me.

I was certain that I’d be riding through a town one day and suddenly there’d be a huge banner across the road telling me what I needed to do next with my life…or maybe a bolt of lightning would hit me and all would be revealed.

Really??  What was I smoking?? 

It took me three years of stress, frustration, judgement and yep – anger – to work out how to find passion in my life.  So hopefully my learning will save you a lot of that!  I just wish I wasn’t such a slow learner!

The first thing – is that you can’t think your way into passion.  It’s not figureoutable in your head.  You can’t just strategize a Purpose Plan and then put it into action – it doesn’t work like that.

Your mind doesn’t know your Soul’s purpose…but that’s where the fun starts.  Because you get to explore.

The thing is – passion is developed, it’s not discovered.  It’s not about finding your passion – it’s about cultivating it…and you get to start cultivating by firstly giving yourself space.

When you get quiet, you give your Soul a chance to speak…

And your Soul speaks in nudges.  You will very rarely get the lightning bolt.  I know – I’ve waited for it!!

Instead I’ve learnt to follow hunches.  To be curious.  To pay the attention to the tiny prods that my Soul gives me.  And when I get a push, I act.  I explore.  I test the water.  I see where it takes me.  Because I’ve learnt there’s not just one passion out there – I know I can cultivate passion in anything I’m interested in.

My passion list is now huge!!  I’m a corporate player, entrepreneur, author, guide, coach, writer, speaker, very-slow athlete, climber, motor bike racer, wife, parent, friend…and while most of these may not technically be classed as my “purpose” – they are just some of the passions I’ve explored.  And I figure if I’m living a passionate life then I am living with purpose!

The trick is to have an open mind and be curious…

Explore things that give you joy.  See if there’s something that you can find that you’re even the tiniest bit interested in – no matter how small it is – and give it a try.  Follow it for a bit and if you decide “nope – not doing it for me” – then fine!  You just looked – you didn’t risk your whole life up following it to the end.

Being curious may lead you nowhere but it will always give you clues – even if it’s to what you don’t want!  But when you feel drawn to something, follow through on that inspiration – say “yes” and see where that leads you.  If it has the fuel to become a passion, you’ll start to feel it.

I’ve followed many hunches in my life – some turned out to be indigestion more than hunches – but I still explored them, and if they didn’t work I just ticked them off.  Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Following a hunch takes away a lot of the risk…  

We continually hear that if we’re following our passion we need to go all in.  We need to sell up, leave our jobs, throw caution to the wind and really step into our one true journey.  But nah – that’s not the case – unless you don’t need to worry about paying the rent and buying food!

Instead – start exploring incrementally.  The answer isn’t to quit your life, but to test the water first – that way you can take more risks before throwing everything up in the air.

I did throw everything up in the air and quit my life in order to find my Purpose – it was a high-risk strategy and luckily it worked…but it was a hard way to do it..and not one I necessarily recommend!

When I went on my “Purpose Discovery Tour” I was expecting a complete road map…I wanted to know my exact destination and to have all the steps I needed to take along the way revealed to me.  Which is probably why I was still at war with myself three years later!!

But you don’t need all the answers upfront…

You don’t have to have the journey mapped out or even really know the destination!  You just need to know the next best step…what feels right to try next?

Every time you follow a hunch or a feeling, you’re making a courageous choice…just keep moving forward one choice at a time, remembering that it’s the detours and the interruptions that will help you find your passion.

Because isn’t that where the joy is?  In the exploration?  In the curiosity?  Isn’t that what gives our lives real purpose and meaning?

The more you act, the clearer you’ll become. Let go of the need to only have one passion or purpose in your life.  The notion that we only have one thing inside us to contribute completely limits our greatness.  Enjoy the adventure – don’t lock yourself into the trap of trying or needing to be only one thing.  Imagine how many amazing opportunities you’ll miss on the way?

And as writer Liz Gilbert says:

“Let go of passion and follow your curiosity…because your curiosity might just lead you to your passion”.

So take the pressure off.  Let yourself be guided without expectations.  Your only job in “finding your passion” is to be open and be curious – to see where your hunches lead.  Because the real purpose in life is simply to be fully involved in living  – so enjoy the journey!!

 

 

 

1 thought on “Where’s Your Heart Taking You?”

  1. JordanKeews says:

    Hi Look what we possess in the service of you! a finesacrifice
    Are you in?
    https://drive.google.com/file/d/1j8QZ2oBQ6AvpJbXI_QoGvAZgbRwOhZRv/preview

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