I’ve always been a goal oriented kinda girl…I love nothing more than a bit of discipline, structure and framework.  Ok – truth be known – there a few things that I do love more, but anything needing a solid dose of willpower, strength and deprivation is right up there for me.

Being owned by the day…

For many years – I started the day with a punishing routine. As I woke at 0430am, the first exercise of the day would be the arm stretch – you know the one?  The one that has your arm reaching from your slumbering body as it stretches over to your phone – to check those all-important messages that can’t possibly wait till later in the day to review?

With my phone clenched tightly, it was then off to the bathroom to get ready to run – stretching while I cleaned my teeth with one hand (I needed to save every precious moment), while I quickly scanned social media with the other – just in case I missed a critical post!  I’m not sure how I could have survived my day, knowing were unseen pictures of friends living a more spectacular life than mine demanding to be liked!

And then the run. That was usually a punishing event- mainly in the dark – where I pushed my body as hard as I could – and usually harder than it could cope with.  But if I was going to exercise – it was gonna hurt dammit!  What’s the point of doing anything half-assed?

Wheezing, in pain, and already stressed – it was then time to hit the shower, dose up with copious amounts of caffeine and barrel into the chaos of my day.  Even as I write this I’m exhausted – but that was my standard morning – that was my daily routine. Is it ringing any bells (OK – maybe not the 0430-start bit – that always sound nuts!).

Who owned who?

The challenge of those morning rituals was that the day owned me.  Not the other way around.

The day took me wherever it wanted me to go – and I had little or no control over the destination or the consequences.  The day exploded in front of me – usually with fury – which meant I was reactive, I was often out of control lurching from one challenge to the next, I was frustrated, cranky and stressed – usually all at once – and I was just plain tired.  I’d get home exhausted, with just enough left-over energy to spend time with my family before heading to bed to do it all again the next day.

I had no clarity. Sure, I shot for goals and nailed targets, but I never had time in all the confusion to be clear on what I was doing – or why, how I was behaving, or how I was showing up.  I was in perpetual motion – never stopping to ask, “how’s all this working for me?” as I rolled from one task to another. I was out of control and life had me in a pretty tight stranglehold.

Where was the joy?

But the worst part? (Could it get worse?). The worst part was that there was very little room left for joy in all of this chaos.  I had no time to breathe, no time to appreciate the big stuff let alone the small stuff, and no time to really appreciate the preciousness of everything around me – like the buzz of connection, the comfort of a hug or the beauty of a sunlight beam lighting up my desk. Everything was happening so fast, it was all a blur.

This is going to end badly…

Yep – when I hurtled into the day – when the day controlled me rather than me being clear on how I wanted the day to go, there was only one way it was going to end….it was going to end badly – and it did.

When a complete mind, body and soul blowout forced me to really sit back and reevaluate my life – one of the things I learnt really quickly was the power of living with intent. In particular, starting the day with rituals – or routines – to help give me purpose and a little control in setting up my day.

True to form, if I was going to start the day with empowering routines, then I was going to learn everything I could to make sure I had the morning nailed with the best rituals possible. So, I read, I watched, I listened…I learnt from the best….and being a “more is always better” kind of girl, any morning ritual I discovered got added to my list.

Ritual overload…

The problem was, I soon started to drown in rituals – up, meditate, pranayama breathing, set goals, visualise the day, walk on grass to be grounded, light candles, practice positive affirmations, kundalini stretches…I was so busy setting up for the day that I actually didn’t have time to live it!

OK – so that wasn’t going to work…

So – by trial and error – probably more error than trial – I let go of what worked for others and discovered the rituals that were important to me – the ones that really helped me set up my day with clarity, insight, mindfulness and intention.

And so…the big reveal….my 5 step morning rituals….

Sunrise connection…

Firstly – up at 0430.  OK – now I know this sounds extreme to most people – and I get it – but hear me out!  That is the most exquisite time of the day for me.  I love the silence and the solitude, I love the peace and the ability to focus at that magical time of the morning. I love the fact that no one needs me, wants me, finds me or even looks for me…it’s my time and I guard it preciously.

I also love being up when the sun rises.  I love a good sunset for sure, but you get to see them almost by accident.  The end of the day comes, you look up from what you’re doing, and “Oh – there’s a sunset!”  But a sunrise?  That’s a conscious effort – unless you’re still coming home from the night before.  You have to work much harder to see a sunrise and that makes it even more precious.  I also love a sunrise because it reminds me of the new beginning – that it’s a new start of a new day – and that we get to make this new day anything we choose.

Meditation…

Meditation is the next step.  For years I actively fought against mediation.  I would rather have cleaned the oven with a toothbrush or had root canal therapy than sit quietly by myself for 5 minutes. The thought of silence terrified me – as did the belief that I just couldn’t do it.  Until I could.

Once I stopped fighting it, I discovered that there’s no right or wrong way to meditate. It’s a simple as finding a quiet spot, focusing on your breathe, noticing when thoughts come into your mind, then starting again…and again…and again.  That’s it. Easy.

There are days when my mind is so quiet I can almost hear my brain rattling – but more often than not there are days when I’m lucky to get two clear breaths out before thoughts bombard me…but either way, it helps. Even meditating just one minute a day lets you quieten your mind and connect with your heart – with the real you.

At the end of my meditation, I set my intention for the day.  My intention is about how I want to show up in the world, and it gives me one thing to really focus on for the day.  For example, one of my favourite intentions is “To give joy and find joy” – which means for the whole day I look for opportunities to find things to be joyful about – and I work hard to give joy – through a smile, a hug, a compliment – to everyone I come in contact with throughout the day.

An intention is a conscious effort.  It’s a guiding light for me throughout the day that reminds me of what’s really important. It helps me be the person I want to be and gives a purpose to everything I do.  It also lets me look back at the end of the day and say “Cool!  Yep – I nailed it!”  (Most days!)

Exercise…

Then it’s time for exercise – out for a run, a walk in nature, a climb – anything that gets my heart pumping and my blood flowing. Apart from the obvious physical and mental benefits of exercise, I’ve discovered something amazing!  If there’s a problem I need to solve, or a question I can’t find the answer to – something incredible happens on a run.  When the mind stops focusing and the feet start pounding, answers start popping into my head outta nowhere! Moments of pure inspiration and creativity seem to squeeze their way out of my head when my mind gets to relax, and my body gets to play.

Gratitude…

A quick shower (sometimes) and then it’s gratitude and journal. I’ve been keeping a journal for years, and I have boxes full of beautiful journals containing my inner most thoughts, wishes, challenges, emotions, joys…but no matter what story is being told on the page – they all start the same way – with writing down three things I’m grateful for every day.

No matter how challenging my life, the minute I find three things that in my heart I’m truly grateful for, the whole world changes. It doesn’t matter what I’m grateful for – it could be for the sunlight that’s warming my shoulder, the crazy conversation I had with a barista, the email from an old friend – when I consciously look for things I’m grateful for, the world is a different place – and I am a different person.  Thank goodness!

Journal…

The final ritual of the morning?  My journal. Into that journal every morning goes everything that I’m feeling – good, bad, ugly – it records my hopes, my frustrations, my dreams, my goals – it’s raw, it allows me to be vulnerable, it helps me find answers and see trends, it lets me see progress and allows me to grow – and its judgement free – if I don’t count me!

The thing is – you can’t fool yourself when it’s just you and your journal.  There’s no point bluffing if you’re just bluffing yourself! So, as I write in my journal, I am brutally honest – that honesty helps me discover me and helps me grow and continually push towards the person I want to be.  It’s not always pretty – but I can’t hide from myself when I write – and that’s when the magic happens!

So, these are the morning rituals that set the context for how I want the day to go.  They are a beautiful and comforting routines that gives me structure, framework – and most importantly purpose to my day. They allow me to choose how I want to show up, they give me clarity and they allow me to live each day with intent.

You’ve gotta stick to it…

There’s no right or wrong in setting up a morning ritual.  It just has to be something that you do every day…yes…every day….to help set your day – and our life – with meaning.

But don’t get me wrong.  Sometimes I set an intention and then get so caught up in the day that I forget about it completely.  Oh?  Today was supposed to be “Living with an Open Heart” day?  Guess that small display of road rage didn’t really fit the intention??  But that’s OK…even if the day blows out, there’s always a new sunrise tomorrow…every day we get to make a new start…every day we get to be better than we were the day before.

Morning rituals won’t change the world – but they share as hell changed me!