I’ve always been about living BIG…about never settling for average and never living a porridge life.  After all – what’s exciting about porridge?  It’s grey and bland and boring…but granola??  Now that’s completely different. Life should be like granola – a riot of colour, unpredictability and wild sensations – especially if you add nuts and fruit and berries (but no yoghurt – I’m plant based!!)

I’ve always believed in never settling for second best… never accepting the safe and easy, the predictable and comfortable.  For me it’s always been about taking risks and grabbing life experiences that are vibrant and joyous – experiences that scare me, that inspire me, that keep me guessing… expereinces that truly bring out the best in me.

In fact, as my boys were growing up – I only had three requirements of them – that they were good men, they gave back to the world and they lived big.  And they have certainly taken me at my word. Sometimes I think they’re living a little too big for a nervous mummah(!!) but that’s a conversation for another time!

In living big, a powerful driver for me has always been the simple philosophy of world-renowned sports psychologist, Michael Gervais:

“Every day we get the opportunity to create a living masterpiece”

So true.  Every day we get the chance to design something spectacular with our lives – we get to create a life of adventure, of intensity, of passion…we get to set the energy for each day – to be outstanding in whatever we choose to do.

And at the end of the day, as Doctor Gervais reminds us – we get to ask ourselves:

“Did we really go for it?  Did we really use the day to build a living masterpiece?”

True to form, I also took the good Doc at his word!  Literally.  Living a big life for me became a life of adrenalin – of risk, of intensity – of pushing too hard and too far – a life that left me overwrought, exhausted and completely shot.

It also became a way for me to numb the pain.  If I was hitting the track at 280km an hour or rappelling off the edge of a mountain I was certainly creating a living masterpiece – I was certainly going for it…but I was also anaesthetising myself.  Living in the place of adrenalin kept me present – but it stopped me from thinking, reflecting or understanding what was really going on in my life.

Adrenalin stopped me from doing the work – the real work it takes to truly create a living masterpiece…

In my fractured view of living big, I was concentrating on the external – braving greatly and pushing boundaries, instead of doing the internal work – learning to be vulnerable, allowing myself to surrender and letting go of control so that I could discover the real me.

I was so busy doing, when I needed to be being.

It took me 23,000kms on a motorbike on the backroads of the Pacific North West – plus a very sore butt to finally work that out…damn…I’m such a slow learner!!

So then, what exactly does it mean to create a living masterpiece…and to be able to ask ourselves at the end of day:

“Did I really go for it?”

Turns out its actually about getting really clear on how you want to live your life.  It’s about deciding who you are and who you want to be…it’s about knowing how you want to feel and what you want to do.  It’s a life that has intensity, that’s calm, focused and vibrant.

It’s about pursuing a life that has meaning and value…

It’s about having the courage to live a life that’s true to you – not a life that others expect of you.

Living big takes a commitment to growth – it needs us to keep shedding our skin as we reinvent, regenerate and renew.

And the big one…it’s about creating the silence – those moments of peace – of quiet – that allow you to hear the whispers of your soul…so that you can be present and connect with your true purpose.

Nothing to it, right?

So, if it’s that easy (!!) what stops us from really being who we’re meant to be in this world?

In a word – fear.

We don’t want to live big, because the thought often fills us with fear. Our anxieties all come back to fear – fear of failure, fear of being exposed, fear of not being enough – and strangely, even the fear of success!

Most of us are risk adverse – we’d rather design our lives not to fail, than risk the consequences of getting it wrong.  We seek comfort not growth and do what we can externally and internally to keep ourselves “safe” and protected from “harm”.

We hesitate.  We hide.  We run.

There’s not a lot of skin shedding when we’re still in that cocoon!  We may be safe, but how’s the butterfly gonna emerge?

The thing is – “not going for it” is actually the failure…

It’s not about removing the fear – it’s about how we relate to it.  It’s about acknowledging it and honouring it – and going for it anyway.

We need to trust that no matter what happens, we have what it takes to survive, and to make it through.  If we make a mistake may get a little battered and bruised – we may get covered in dust – but that’s OK.  We’ll be able to figure it out, we’ll be able to adjust, we’ll be able to course correct – and above all – we’ll be able to grow.

Fear also comes from the stories we tell ourselves.  Our stories often stop us in our tracks as we worry about the “what ifs” and the “what could go wrongs”.  But stories are just that – stories.  We can change our them.  Stories only have the power over us that we give them.

If your stories aren’t serving you, delete them. Create new stories.  Look closely at the stories you’re telling yourself and ask whether they’re supporting your vision of the life you want to build– or are they anchoring you in the past.  Are they keeping you small?  If they are, toss those anchors overboard.  Right now!!

Stories are a choice – so choose ones that inspire, ignite and exhilarate…  

What have you got to lose other than pain of the past of the fear of the future?

Living big is also about our managing our thoughts and emotions – it’s about being aware of our thoughts and the impact they’re having on us. The more you’re aware of your inner dialogue – the criticisms, the judgements, the self-slapping – the more you can catch them and the faster you’ll be able to change them. We allow our thoughts to create our reality – so again – if our thoughts are toxic and aren’t supporting our vision, then catch them and change them.

Who’s the boss here??  Would you speak to anyone the way you speak to yourself??  No??  Really??  Then halt poisonous thoughts in their tracks.  Don’t let them stop you from being who you’re supposed to be!

It’s the same with emotions.  You only get to experience one emotion at a time – so choose the emotional state you want to be in, rather than let your thoughts and your brain take control and decide for you!

There are a fixed number of minutes and days in your life…

You alone are responsible for how you choose to live them.  You alone are accountable for the quality of your life – for the life you want to create.

Creating a living masterpiece isn’t easy – it takes work – really hard work – and like they say, building a big life really is “an inside job”.  You have to embark on that solo journey of self-discovery to really create a life of meaning.

But would you have it any other way?  Would you really settle for porridge??

So, go inside…get quiet so that you can connect with who you are.  Be present.  Breathe.  Slowly. Find the silence so that you can hear your soul when you ask the questions:

– Who am I

– Who do I want to be

– How am I impacting people

– Am I making a difference

– How can I generate meaning in my life

– Am I living a life that’s true to me

There’s no road map for the life you want to create.  Everyone has a very different definition of what it means to build a living masterpiece – but that’s the adventure.  It’s about consciously deciding who you want to be and how you want to live your life – it’s about actively choosing granola and walking away from porridge.

For me now, living big is about letting go of the obsession to do more and be more.  And yes, adrenaline still features big time in my life – but today it has a different role.  It’s the coconut yoghurt not the main meal – and that’s the conscious choice I’ve made.

It’s about being more grounded, being present, being focused and living more fully every single day.  And on the days that I have that nailed, the answer to “have I really gone for it” – is absolutely “hell yeah!”

And in the thought-provoking words of Eckhardt Tolle:

“We are what we choose to create”

So…the big question…what living masterpiece are you choosing to create?